


Too Many Nicknames

by CoreyWW



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anger, Comedy, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Humor, Nicknames, School, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22257139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: Post-Why So Blue.Steven and Lapis try to help come up with a nickname for the nice Lapis who has just joined Little Homeschool. That should go pretty smoothly, right?... right?
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli & Steven Universe, Nice Lapis & Steven Universe, Nice Lapis & Volleyball, Pink Diamond's Original Pearl | Volleyball & Steven Universe
Comments: 11
Kudos: 109





	Too Many Nicknames

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guess what, I'm not dead, here's a new fic!

“This school is so nice!” the nice Lapis with freckles said, following behind Steven and Lapis as she gazed at the colorful buildings in Little Homeschool. “I’m so glad your planet was never terraformed so you could build it!”

“Welllll it kinda took a while to ensure we wouldn’t have to worry about that, but thank you!” Steven said. Steven gestured all around, now able to see several outdoor classes taking place all around them with Gems of all shapes and sizes nearby. “There’s a class for making morps, a class for thinking for yourself, we have a work study program now. What do you think we should see, first, Lapis?”

To Steven’s surprise, both Lapis and the nice Lapis spoke at the same time.

“Well I’d like--” the nice Lapis said as Lapis said, “I think we should--” They both glanced at each other.

“Oh! Right, right, that’s gonna get a little confusing.” Steven smiled. “I think it’d be a great time to give you a nickname, Lapis.”

The nice Lapis blinked.

“Um ...” Steven scratched his head. “Is that ... okay?”

“Oh!” The nice Lapis chuckled. “Sorry, I thought you were talking to her.” She nodded towards Lapis-- the original one, Steven had to mentally amend.

“Hehe, yeeeaaah, we should definitely pick one sooner than later.” Steven rubbed his chin. “Um ... is there a specific nickname you’d like?”

The nice Lapis tilted her head. The original Lapis caught eyes with her and gave a reassuring smile. “Anything at all you can think of that fits?” she said.

“Hm...” The nice Lapis squinted, deep in thought. “How about .... _Lapis_!”

The original Lapis snickered. Steven laughed more nervously.

“No no, the idea is to pick a name _other_ than Lapis,” Steven said.

“Why can’t I be Lapis?” the nice Lapis said with a frown.

“Well, you are Lapis! Of course you are!”

“Great! Lapis it is.”

“No I mean--” Steven smacked his forehead. “I mean you’re still Lapis but you’d _also_ be a different name to avoid confusion.”

“It’s not confusing to me!” the nice Lapis said, chipper.

“ _Of course it’s not .._.” Steven mumbled. “Buuut I still think we should do it or else it might get confusing if you Lapis and ... her Lapis--” He gestured to the original Lapis. “--are in the same room? Get it!”

“Ohhhhh, I see what you’re saying!” The nice Lapis snapped her fingers. “I understand now!”

“Awesome!”

“Then why don’t I be Lapis--” The nice Lapis gestured to herself, then gestured to the original Lapis. “And we call her um ... Pants!”

“Ahaha ... _no_ ,” Lapis said, narrowing her eyes suddenly.

“But they’re so cute!”

“Maybe we should just call you Dress then?”

“Oooh, _no_.” The nice Lapis winced.

“See? Doesn’t feel so good does it?”

“You’re right. We should just both be Lapis then.”

“Right,” the original Lapis said with a nod. Then blinked rapidly and said, “Wait ...”

Steven consciously had to unclench his teeth.

“Ooookay, this isn’t super productive,” Steven said. “Trust me, Lapis-- um ... new Lapis, I mean-- a nickname might seem unusual at first but it’s really great. Why don’t you ask um ...” Steven looked around towards the morp class and saw a friendly face. “Ah perfect!” He yelled out. “Volleyball, could you come over here for a second?”

Volleyball turned towards Steven, then picked up the clay sculpture she was working on. Her one eye was filled with warmth as she clutched her clay sculpture. It was only when she got closer that Steven realized it was giant eyeball with a gaping, wailing mouth.

“Steven!” Volleyball said, holding up the unsettling sculpture. “Look! I have made a morp! Is this acceptable?!”

“Ohhh wow ...” Beads of sweat dripping down Steven’s forehead. “That’s really ... great!”

“It is?” Volleyball said.

The nice Lapis gasped.

“Oh my gosh, _that’s the coolest one of those I have ever seen_!” She exclaimed.

“That’s ... honestly really great,” the original Lapis said genuinely. “Can you explain it?”

“It’s symbolic of the time--” Volleyball started.

“UH, SORRY!” Steven coughed. “We can-- we’ll talk about that later. Um, I actually called you over because I need your help!”

“Of course!” Volleyball said with a sweet smile. “How may I serve you?”

“Ohhhh-kay, umm ...” Steven forced a smile. “So I was just telling Lapis-- uh, the new one--how great it was to have a nickname?”

“Oh it’s wonderful!” Volleyball said. “Mine is so funny. I adore it!”

The nice Lapis giggled.

“I like that name too,” she said.

“Great! Everyone likes nicknames now? Awesome!” Steven exhaled. “Volleyball, maybe you could help us think of a name for our new friend here?”

“Of course! I have the perfect name!” Volleyball exclaimed.

“You do?” Steven said.

“Yes! How about ... Volleyball?” Volleyball said.

The nice Lapis’s hands went to her cheeks

“Oh my gosh, I love it!” the nice Lapis exclaimed.

“What? No!” Steven said.

“No?” Now both the nice Lapis and Volleyball looked at Steven, dejected.

“I mean it’s just-- Volleyball, that’s your nickname!”

“I know. I loved it. I thought she would too,” Volleyball said, lowering her head.

“But I do!” the nice Lapis said. “Why can’t I be Volleyball?”

“ _Because Volleyball is already Volleyball_!” Steven grumbled through gritted teeth..

“We could both be Volleyball!” the nice Lapis said, turning to Volleyball with a smile.

“Yes! That’s exactly what I was thinking!” Volleyball said.

Steven’s eye twitched.

“BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS WAS--”

Volleyball visibly flinched and Steven immediately caught himself.

“... okay. Okay, sorry,” he said softly, rubbing his squinted eyes. “Let’s ... let’s start at the beginning here--”

The original Lapis put a reassuring hand on Steven’s shoulder.

“Did you have any other ideas aside from your own name, Volleyball?” Lapis said as gently as she could.

“Um ... I’m not sure,” Volleyball said, still meek. She brightened up. “Maybe I could have others help us!”

“I don’t know if that’s--” Steven started, but Volleyball already whipped around.

“Everyone? Steven needs help with nicknames!”

There were some murmurs as several Gems from the art class walked over. Steven recognized the tiny form of Larimar, the Ruby Steven called “Leggy” so long ago, and ...

“Amethyst? What were you doing by the art class?!” Steven asked.

“Eatin’ ice cream,” Amethyst said, holding an ice cream cone topped with chocolate fudge, ketchup, and what appeared to be metal screws. She briefly licked the cone. “What’s up?”

“But why are you doing that by the art-- you know what, nevermind. I’m just trying to help the new Lapis understand how cool it is to have a nickname.”

“What’s _your_ nickname?” the nice Lapis asked Amethyst.

Amethyst shrugged. “Don’t have one.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have one either,” Larimar said.

“Or me!” said Leggy.

Steven furrowed his brow.

“LEGGY! Your nickname is Leggy!” Steven blurted out.

“Oh yeah,” Leggy said, putting her hand on her cheek. “What’s my real name then?”

“IT’S RUBY!”

“Oooooooooh, right right.” Leggy nodded.

“Well this doesn’t seem fair,” the nice Lapis said. “We should all have nicknames!”

“Oooooh, I would love to have a nickname,” Larimar said cheerfully. “I would like to be ‘ _AHHHHHHHH_!’” Steven had to cover his ears from the shrill scream. Larimar seemed very pleased with herself.

“Oooh, that’s a pretty name too,” the nice Lapis said. “Can I also have that?”

“I thought you liked Volleyball,” said Volleyball.

“I do! Maybe I could have both! Together”

“That would be a pretty sounding name,” said Larimar.

“Can I change my nickname?” Leggy said. “I think I’d like to be Amethyst instead.”

“OKAY, THAT’S JUST _INTENTIONALLY_ DECEPTIVE!” Steven snapped.

Leggy winced. Amethyst immediately frowned at Steven. 

“Don’t be mean to Amethyst, Steven,” Amethyst said.

Leggy seemed relaxed after that.

Steven’s eye twitched again. His face turned a fluorescent pink for a second before he inhaled and exhaled, causing it to subside.

“Wellllll,” he said shakily, “let’s focus on Lapis’s nickname first and _then_ we can work out all that later.”

“Right!” Leggy said. “Which Lapis?”

“THE ONE WITH FRECKLES!” Steven yelled out. “AHHHHHHHHHHH!”  
  
“Yes Steven?” replied Larimar.

Steven let out a strained, “ _Nevermind, I’m good--_ ”

“Oooooh!” The nice Lapis clenched her hands and started to bounce up and down. “Oooh, that’s a good name! I’d like that!”

“What name?” Steven said.

“That thing you said. Freckles.”

“You-- you like that? You actually want a name that no one else has?”

“Yep!”

Steven smiled. He almost looked like he would cry tears of joy.

“Okay! Great! Freckles it is!” Steven said. “That’s your nickname! Everyone cool with that?”

Everyone nodded.

“Great! So everything worked out!” Steven said, laughing nervously. “Thank you, everybody. I guess get back to your art and Amethyst, get back to whatever class you’re supposed to teach.”

“I get to teach a class?” Leggy said.

“NOT YOU, I MEAN--” Steven ran his hand down his face. “Okay we’ll... we’ll update everyone’s nicknames later. I’m just-- I need to go lay down for a minute ...”

Steven walked away, rubbing his temple, while Freckles turned to Lapis.

“I think I like school,” Freckles said.

“Yeah, we have fun,” Lapis replied with a faint smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to [e350tb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb) for coming up with the nickname Freckles.


End file.
